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Captain Hook

I am a lost boy from Neverland usually hanging out with Peter Pan, and when we’re bored we play in the woods always on the run from Captain Hook

Ruth B, Lost Boy

Watching Peter Pan as a child and finding him so cool because he could just do whatever he wanted to in Neverland was definitely not something I would have thought I’d reminisce about in the future. To be honest, I didn’t have an emotional bond towards that movie/story back then nor was it on the list of my favorite disney movies, I just thought Peter was cool, still I certainly didn’t understand why he didn’t want to grow up and why he was agaisnt adulting…well how would I? I probably was around eight or nine when I first watched the movie, but Neverland always sounded like a paradise where you’d have all the freedom you always wished for to me. Later on I couldn’t wait to finally be an adult, as for me, reaching the age of majority always seemed to be my kind of Neverland. Thinking that growing up would allow me to finally do whatever I want, wherever I want and whenever I want…thought attending adulthood would be the solution to all my childish worries. And I’m pretty sure that I don’t have to explain to you that I was…kiiiinda wrong with that thought, I asume that probably most of you experienced something similar by entering adulthood. However, none of us can escape it, one day or another time will force us to grow up.

Anyways…once again that was quite a rough introduction (sorry for that) nevertheless I just turned 22 a little more than a week ago and to be frank, I was rather not very pleased about getting older because until now, being an adult hasn’t been that much of the Neverland I expected it to be. As always, I was overthinking things, once more thinking about how I’m just getting older without really achieving something significant for my rear future, and how another year flew by and I just seem to run out of time to acomplish my dreams. But then Ruth B’s – Lost Boy came on shuffle while I was just sitting there, lost in my thoughts and my earphones plugged in. I haven’t listened to that song in a while yet it’s one of my favorite songs and means a lot to me. Due to this song I ended up reading the actual book of Peter Pan a year ago and that’s where all the reflecting about it started. Did you know that Captain Hook represents all the hardships and struggles we would have to face as we grow older and enter adulthood? And that the crocodile that bit his hand off, that was holding his watch, is representing Hook’s childhood times being over?

He said, „Peter Pan that’s what they call me, I’ll promise that you’ll never be lonely“ and ever since that day…

Ruth B, Lost Boy

However, all this talk about Peter and his folks might sound pretty depressing but my 22nd birthday turned out to be great and I’m very greatful for all the people who I shared it with. Since it was the first birthday ever I spent away from home, I was also worried about how I would feel on the day itself but turns out that I was worried for nothing. As long as you have the right people around you, even a birthday far away from your beloved home and casualities can be unforgettable. Now this might surprise you, since I keep claiming that I’m not a people person at all in my last posts but you know, as a loner and introvert it is rather hard to explain to others what this feeling is like when you actually enjoy being by yourself but still detest the sentiment of lonliness. Maybe it’s more that I dislike being around people just to be around them, I hate small talks and talking to others just for the sake of talking without any further meaning. If you first meet me you probably won’t notice this vulnerable side of me because most of the time I’m wearing a mask, just to give people the impression they want or expect from me. The real struggle is to find people I feel emotionally connected enough to share this susceptible side of mine, people that I actually feel comfortable around and are able to break my walls down, people that I can actually call my friends…hence the feeling of loneliness eventhough I might be surrounded by lots of people. Being like that can be emotionally very exhausting but when you finally find the persons that are able to break through that barrier of yours as well as just accepting you with all the demons you are carrying, it feels like a warm homecoming. I imagine it to be like how Peter must have felt when he found his lost boys and how they must have felt when they found Peter.

So this past few weeks I think I can say that after a rough start here in Seoul, I have found people that I gladly call my friends. It took me a while, quite a while, but I believe that the time that it took was totally worth it. I have to admit that there were times where I strongly questioned my own decision of coming to Korea and where I missed home more than I could describe in words. I struggled a lot and it definitely was hard and the more I struggled the more I just wanted to be alone and only spend my time on my own. Luckily Peter Pan came soon enough and I found my kind of lost boys in Seoul. Never would I have thought that bonding with people was the key to making my life more comfortable but happily I had people by my side, without really realizing it, who showed me the good and precious side of socialising. Thanks to them I’m enjoying every single day that I get to spend here now and I guess spending my 22nd birthday with all the people here that I cherrish made me realize that growing up might be exhausting and hard, but thinking about it too much won’t make it any better either because time won’t stop and will overtake us someday if we don’t accept it. It made me comprehend a little better that running away from „getting older“ and facing responsibilities makes everything just worse but if I face it, I don’t have to do it alone, fighting against Captain Hook with Peter and the lost boys by your side can actually be one hell of an adventure.

Peter Pan, Tinkerbell, Wendy Darling even Captain Hook, you are my perfect story book

Ruth B, Lost Boy

To sum things up, I made some great friends here in Seoul who I cherrish a lot and that I hope to make even more unforgettable memories with. I’m very greatful to all of them. Thinking back to the first few weeks here with all the hardships and inner turmoil I went through seems so irrelevant now, all those things seem so small now and this outcome is definitely not due to myself. I’m very thankful to all the people, not just the ones here, that never let go of me and always stay by my side even when I’m being diffcult to handle with, people that support me, even if I’m miles appart from them, people that, whatever may come, are ready to face Captain Hook with me. I guess this post turned out to be, eventhough that wasn’t my first intention when I started writting it (as always ^^) dedicated to all the persons that I care about; I’m fine, and I’m enjoying every single day that I get to spend here. I had a very nice birthday and I feel a little more like 22 now. My life is still not perfect, I still miss my bed and swiss food, some things still make my blood boil because they just don’t work eventhough it would be so simple, but at least I found my lost boys now and maybe I’m coming a little closer, step by step, to my Neverland.

So, I guess that was it for today’s post and at this point I’d like to add that I’m sorry that it took me so long to update. Life has been kinda hectic this past few days and weeks but I’m trying my best to write as much as possible, and hopefully you could get another insight into what is going on in my life at the moment. However I hope you liked my post, eventhough it drifted a little away from my actual intentions and it might sound like a bunch of confusing thoughts that I tried to bring to words. Alright, I’m calling it quits now for good because if you saw my local time right now you’d probably scold me a lot and force me to go to bed^^. With this said I wish you a good night and enjoy the rest of the weekend. Thanks for reading and dream of Peter and Neverland.

Neverland is home to lost boys like me and lost boys like me are free.

Ruth B – Lost Boys

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My second first S(e)oul

Two weeks…..It’s been two weeks  (almost) since I put feet on Korean soil again, but still it felt like it was my first time at Incheon Airport.  Not that everything felt foreign…I mean it did, and it probably always will in a certain way since it’s not my home town, but it felt more like unknown….like I had to rediscover everything again for my mind and soul to recognize it anew. Nevertheless I actually did expect myself to feel this way since I left Switzerland with a whole different outlook on the purpose of my stay in South Korea than the last time I came here. The farwells were a lot more painful, a lot more tears were shed and it was a lot harder to let go than the previous time. Hence with different cirrcumstances come different expectations and anticipations. So let me talk about the „second first“ impressinons I had after spending a couple of free days in this gigantic metropolis. 

How can I say, I felt both, weird and excited. The feeling of finally exiting the plane felt soothing and scary at the same time…I was glad I finally arrived in Seoul after seven months but I also just wanted to go back to my house in Switzerland where everything is familiar and comfortable, but I knew this wasn’t happening, so I also couldn’t wait to finally be roaming around those vivid streets again that I missed so much. In the meantime, while having all kinds of thoughts and overthinking everything as always, I made it through the customs and was relieved that all my luggage (which included two suitcases and a guitar) made it to Seoul safely, even after a transfer in Warsaw, and after a one hour carride from Incheon to Seoul I finally arrived at the university’s dormitory.  I won’t really get into details about the Uni’s campus and dorm in this post since I want to write another post explicitly about the university itself, so stay tuned if you want to know about Sejong University. Anyways, what I can say about my  impression after entering my room for the first time is that I didn’t like the smell and that I would have to put a lot of effort in living with other people, considering that I am NOT a people person at all….like, I really really reeeeaally enjoy being alone and living with four people in the same room is not really aproving this. But yeah, I’ll talk about this another time 😉 

Anyhow, the first week was filled with a lot of exploring, re-descovering and meeting new people since classes only started a week later. As you know now that I’m kind of loner I spent a lot of the free time I had during that week with just roaming around the streets (alone) at different places in Seoul and watching people and my surroundings. Doing this was actually quite entertaining…I was able to take pictures and to enjoy the city in a way  I hadn’t before. For the second first impression part : I really had to get used to the amount of people that live in this City. I mean, I already knew there were a lot of people in Seoul but I didn’t expect myself to be that overwhelmed by it again. There are people everywhere and at anytime, the city literally never sleeps. Eventhough I lived in Seoul for a couple months before, it still felt weird to have that many people surrounding me when I go out. 

Second thing that I had to get used to again was having K-Pop Idols‘ faces EVERYWHERE. Not that I mind, but it was so weird to see their faces at every corner again for whatever product they’re promoting or because their brithday is coming up soon. Never thought that THAT would actually be something I’d had to get used to again, but apperently it is. I mean, I listen to K-Pop and there are a few groups that I really like…so technically I should feel comfortable, especially because it’s not like it was new to me but yet it felt weird. So my second first impression of those adds was actually that it just felt awkward to be surrounded by my favorite artists ALL the time…that way that they actually feel surreal, like they are actually not real human because they are praised so much. As I’m also planning on writting a seperate post about Korea’s ways to praise their precious K-Pop Idols, I won’t get more into this either’ll just have to come back here again ;). 

Since I’m talking about the first impression I had for this time, here’s a thing…You know, Korea has a big heart for music and their music is actually a big part of their culture, hence you can almost hear music coming out of every store, restaurant, club or whatever it might be. Unlike Switzerland they are very proud of their music and mostly play K-Pop in stores rather than chart songs. (but you can still hear it from time to time…actutally more and more western music is being played by now). Since there are countless korean artists and groups out there, the music varies a lot and it’s actually like they have their own little music world. But somehow (!!!!)….somehow Seoul seems to only know two songs at the moment; Jennie’s (Blackpink) SOLO and Twice‘ Yes or Yes. Seriously…those songs are EVERYWHERE…wherever you go it’s either SOLO or Yes or Yes (pronounced in a very high-pitched voice lol ^^). When Solo was released I was still in Switzerland and I pretty much enjoyed it, but the fact that I constantly hear it kinda ruined it….and for the Twice song…yeah, it’s not really the kind of music that I listen to, so you can imagine how I feel about it being everywhere. So if you’re brave enough to give Korea’s current favorite songs a listen…DO IT ;). 

I actually like the song, but yeah…I’m kinda fed up.

Alright, now you know how I felt during the last two weeks. Meanwhile classes have started (I’m working very hard my Korean), I got to meet new people and make new friends. I am also glad to be back to where stores are open ‚till 10.00pm or even 11.00pm, because yeah…my shopping heart needs that sometimes ;). One of the best part of the last two weeks was probably the food. Yes, I do love korean food (as long as you eat actual korean food and not western food made by koreans), eventhough I already miss the salt and salty things haha, yes I love salt aswell and Korean kitchen has too less of it in my opinion. You can’t imagine how happy I was when I had the first BBQ <3. 

To wrap it up, the last two weeks were pretty intense with a lot of getting used to stuff and a new life. But it also was very intressting and a lot of fun. The highlight of it was last wednesday when I went to see one of my all time favorite bands in concert after missing them several times in Switzerland, and no, it wasn’t a K-Pop band ^^, but that day was so magical  that it deserves its very own post, because I probably could talk about it endlessly. 

Anyways, I’m doing fine here in Korea 🙂 I still have to adjust myself a little, but it has only been two weeks right? I guess you don’t have to worry about me yet since I’m still alive writting this 😉 haha just kidding. With that said I wish you all a good night. Thanks for reading my second post and taking your time for me. 

Sweet dreams! ~ Hialy

Good night everyone!