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Captain Hook

I am a lost boy from Neverland usually hanging out with Peter Pan, and when we’re bored we play in the woods always on the run from Captain Hook

Ruth B, Lost Boy

Watching Peter Pan as a child and finding him so cool because he could just do whatever he wanted to in Neverland was definitely not something I would have thought I’d reminisce about in the future. To be honest, I didn’t have an emotional bond towards that movie/story back then nor was it on the list of my favorite disney movies, I just thought Peter was cool, still I certainly didn’t understand why he didn’t want to grow up and why he was agaisnt adulting…well how would I? I probably was around eight or nine when I first watched the movie, but Neverland always sounded like a paradise where you’d have all the freedom you always wished for to me. Later on I couldn’t wait to finally be an adult, as for me, reaching the age of majority always seemed to be my kind of Neverland. Thinking that growing up would allow me to finally do whatever I want, wherever I want and whenever I want…thought attending adulthood would be the solution to all my childish worries. And I’m pretty sure that I don’t have to explain to you that I was…kiiiinda wrong with that thought, I asume that probably most of you experienced something similar by entering adulthood. However, none of us can escape it, one day or another time will force us to grow up.

Anyways…once again that was quite a rough introduction (sorry for that) nevertheless I just turned 22 a little more than a week ago and to be frank, I was rather not very pleased about getting older because until now, being an adult hasn’t been that much of the Neverland I expected it to be. As always, I was overthinking things, once more thinking about how I’m just getting older without really achieving something significant for my rear future, and how another year flew by and I just seem to run out of time to acomplish my dreams. But then Ruth B’s – Lost Boy came on shuffle while I was just sitting there, lost in my thoughts and my earphones plugged in. I haven’t listened to that song in a while yet it’s one of my favorite songs and means a lot to me. Due to this song I ended up reading the actual book of Peter Pan a year ago and that’s where all the reflecting about it started. Did you know that Captain Hook represents all the hardships and struggles we would have to face as we grow older and enter adulthood? And that the crocodile that bit his hand off, that was holding his watch, is representing Hook’s childhood times being over?

He said, „Peter Pan that’s what they call me, I’ll promise that you’ll never be lonely“ and ever since that day…

Ruth B, Lost Boy

However, all this talk about Peter and his folks might sound pretty depressing but my 22nd birthday turned out to be great and I’m very greatful for all the people who I shared it with. Since it was the first birthday ever I spent away from home, I was also worried about how I would feel on the day itself but turns out that I was worried for nothing. As long as you have the right people around you, even a birthday far away from your beloved home and casualities can be unforgettable. Now this might surprise you, since I keep claiming that I’m not a people person at all in my last posts but you know, as a loner and introvert it is rather hard to explain to others what this feeling is like when you actually enjoy being by yourself but still detest the sentiment of lonliness. Maybe it’s more that I dislike being around people just to be around them, I hate small talks and talking to others just for the sake of talking without any further meaning. If you first meet me you probably won’t notice this vulnerable side of me because most of the time I’m wearing a mask, just to give people the impression they want or expect from me. The real struggle is to find people I feel emotionally connected enough to share this susceptible side of mine, people that I actually feel comfortable around and are able to break my walls down, people that I can actually call my friends…hence the feeling of loneliness eventhough I might be surrounded by lots of people. Being like that can be emotionally very exhausting but when you finally find the persons that are able to break through that barrier of yours as well as just accepting you with all the demons you are carrying, it feels like a warm homecoming. I imagine it to be like how Peter must have felt when he found his lost boys and how they must have felt when they found Peter.

So this past few weeks I think I can say that after a rough start here in Seoul, I have found people that I gladly call my friends. It took me a while, quite a while, but I believe that the time that it took was totally worth it. I have to admit that there were times where I strongly questioned my own decision of coming to Korea and where I missed home more than I could describe in words. I struggled a lot and it definitely was hard and the more I struggled the more I just wanted to be alone and only spend my time on my own. Luckily Peter Pan came soon enough and I found my kind of lost boys in Seoul. Never would I have thought that bonding with people was the key to making my life more comfortable but happily I had people by my side, without really realizing it, who showed me the good and precious side of socialising. Thanks to them I’m enjoying every single day that I get to spend here now and I guess spending my 22nd birthday with all the people here that I cherrish made me realize that growing up might be exhausting and hard, but thinking about it too much won’t make it any better either because time won’t stop and will overtake us someday if we don’t accept it. It made me comprehend a little better that running away from „getting older“ and facing responsibilities makes everything just worse but if I face it, I don’t have to do it alone, fighting against Captain Hook with Peter and the lost boys by your side can actually be one hell of an adventure.

Peter Pan, Tinkerbell, Wendy Darling even Captain Hook, you are my perfect story book

Ruth B, Lost Boy

To sum things up, I made some great friends here in Seoul who I cherrish a lot and that I hope to make even more unforgettable memories with. I’m very greatful to all of them. Thinking back to the first few weeks here with all the hardships and inner turmoil I went through seems so irrelevant now, all those things seem so small now and this outcome is definitely not due to myself. I’m very thankful to all the people, not just the ones here, that never let go of me and always stay by my side even when I’m being diffcult to handle with, people that support me, even if I’m miles appart from them, people that, whatever may come, are ready to face Captain Hook with me. I guess this post turned out to be, eventhough that wasn’t my first intention when I started writting it (as always ^^) dedicated to all the persons that I care about; I’m fine, and I’m enjoying every single day that I get to spend here. I had a very nice birthday and I feel a little more like 22 now. My life is still not perfect, I still miss my bed and swiss food, some things still make my blood boil because they just don’t work eventhough it would be so simple, but at least I found my lost boys now and maybe I’m coming a little closer, step by step, to my Neverland.

So, I guess that was it for today’s post and at this point I’d like to add that I’m sorry that it took me so long to update. Life has been kinda hectic this past few days and weeks but I’m trying my best to write as much as possible, and hopefully you could get another insight into what is going on in my life at the moment. However I hope you liked my post, eventhough it drifted a little away from my actual intentions and it might sound like a bunch of confusing thoughts that I tried to bring to words. Alright, I’m calling it quits now for good because if you saw my local time right now you’d probably scold me a lot and force me to go to bed^^. With this said I wish you a good night and enjoy the rest of the weekend. Thanks for reading and dream of Peter and Neverland.

Neverland is home to lost boys like me and lost boys like me are free.

Ruth B – Lost Boys

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I’m a Whalien

„Even if I sleep a shrimp’s sleep, my dreams are like that of a whale’s“

 Jung Hoseok, Whalien 52

You probably wonder what the word “Whalien” means, right? Well, I’m afraid I can’t give you the right answer to that, because there is no such thing as a definition of a Whalien, I guess we all must find our own personal meaning to it. In fact, there is one very special song out there which might help you finding the word’s purpose, I even think that’s where the word has its origin, but instead of explaining you the whole song and reviewing it, I’ll let you find out by yourself and make you build your own opinion about it.

Anyway, at this point you’re probably thinking about what a weird kid I must be to write a weird post like this as my very first entry on my weird blog (I don’t really think my blog is weird but I thought it would be less boring to have the word “weird”three times in a row instead of two, you know, writing style and stuff ^^). Guess you’re right 😉. My name is Hialy, I’m 21 years old and yeah, most of the time I can identify myself as a Whalien. I was born in Madagascar and lived there for six years, then I moved to Switzerland, to St. Gallen, a town in the east of the country. That’s also where I spent most of my life, although right now I live in Seoul, South Korea, for my music studies. This is one of the main reasons why I wanted to start blogging, since everyone wanted me to keep them updated on my new life here in Korea, thought this would be a great opportunity to do so and to discover something new. Besides, I’ve always wanted to sort of blog about my everyday life and stuff, and the circumstances just gave me the perfect reason to finally do so. However, there’s an issue I still don’t really know how to figure out, what language shall write in? I mean, most of my family speaks French, my friends and people in Switzerland speak German, and then there are my friends that speak English….*sigh* ..what to do. But yeah, I thought it would be best to write the first post in English, but who knows, I might vary on the language from time to time. 

Credits to @tobiasweinhold and @christopherseinsche

So, as you might have guessed by my weird introduction and by the revelation of my studies, my biggest passion is music. Whether it be playing music, making it,producing it or just simply listening to it, I love it. What fascinates me about music is how versatile it can be with all the feelings every artist can transmit through their music and the different emotions those songs and lyrics can make me feel. I love listening to songs, analyze them and to agonize over them because it makes me think about life, love, faith, purposes and all kind of things. Yes, I do “like” overthinking about songs (about everything in life actually) that have deep lyrics, and yes, that Whalien song is one of those songs I spent a lot of time thinking about. Its name is “Whalien 52” and seven boys sing about their sorrow, their worries and their struggle of being a Whalien, but they keep swimming despite having this loneliness eating them up in the wide sea of life surrounded by superficial people. Since I already told you that I will let you explore it on your own, I won’t get any deeper and will stop right here. The last thing you probably should know about; there’s a whale species out there that sings/speaks/communicates at a low frequency of 52 Hz (which is very low), and all the other whale’s frequencies are much higher so…

„I go towards my future, that blue beach and believe in my hertz“

Jeon Jungkook, Whalien 52

And with that I’m calling it a quit. I hope I didn’t confuse you too much with that mess of a text I wrote. I just thought it would be more interesting, for the people who don’t know me yet, to create your own image of me, and for those who already do know me, to let you inside my mind a little, and let a song and the title speak for me. Since I’m not that good with words, I think this song does a pretty good job in describing my personality and the way I think, because it’s a very sorrowful song yet very hopeful. Alright, I think that’s really it for now, I hope you enjoyed it and appreciate the song just as much as I do.

“This sea is too deep, still I’m lucky, because even if I cry no one would know…I’m a Whalien”

Kim Namjoon, Whalien 52

With these means…. good night and sweet dreams!